This Week In Film (5/10/2021 - 5/16/2021)
May 10, 2021 - May 16, 2021
Hello readers. What a confusing week? The CDC is telling people that if they are vaccinated they can be outside or inside uncrowded places without a mask. This news was taken as: Woo Hoo Open F*ckin' Season Folks! It's safe to say that some are worried that people may - as strange as it sounds - lie about being vaccinated. But, regardless, I have a doctor now. There were no more excuses. It's been over a year since I've seen a doctor and I suffer chronic pain in my head, stomach, lungs, and where the sun don't shine. But, it was COVID times. You can't see your doctor during COVID TIMES! Needless to say, that first visit was a whirlwind of complaints. Mostly from me, but my doctor confused me for a different patient right when he walked in the room. My lizard brain was like, "Call me whatever you want as long as you fix me." When I realized there was no joke, I corrected him. There's nothing like hearing your new doctor say, "Sh*t, I grabbed the wrong folder, I'll be back." Luckily, I made an index card with all my chronic ailments, frequencies, and prescriptions I've been on. The doctor asked if he could have it to make his note-taking easier. What a sigh of relief! A doctor who thinks my name is Dominique Ducoco is going to help me navigate through my symptoms. But that's not what I came here to tell you about...
This Week In Film where I create a weekly rundown of the random sh*t I watch. There’s a HIGH / LOW at the end of this entry, so if words aren't really your thing, you can scroll quickly, look at pictures, and skip to my favorite viewings of the week.
Lets begin...
OVERVIEW:
****
PRINCESS MONONOKE (1997)
dir: Hayao Miyazaki
Top three Miyazaki for me: Spirited Away (2001), Princess Mononoke, and Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984). But that is when I'm put on the spot. Because who doesn't love Kiki's Delivery Service (1989), My Neighbor Totoro (1988), Castle In The Sky (1986), Howl's Moving Castle (2004), or Ponyo (2008)? There is no way to discuss a Miyazaki film without showing how you appreciate the entire world of Studio Ghibli. Each hand-drawn epic centers on the experiences of a child making their way through a world where nature is vast and just. Adults can be enemies, but no one is so lost that they can't have their hearts changed. Studio Ghibli is where animation becomes the great conveyor of culture. An American audience may find certain customs strange in a Miyazaki film, but because these facets are animated, audiences easily accept things that may feel different to them.
I know that's a packed sentence. But think about how cartoons wired us. When we were young, we learned about the world through the animation we were allowed to watch. If we grew up on a lot of He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe we were given a moral message at the end of each show. If we grew up on a lot of My Little Pony we learned about friendship. But if we grow up with international stories, we will be more accepting of different cultures when we get older. At least, I hope that's how it works.
A war culminates at the end of Princess Mononoke. The women of iron town are fighting against another town while their best soldiers are on a quest to kill the spirit animal. The boars are infected with evil. The apes want to destroy all of mankind. And the wolves must place their faith in an outsider. There are a lot of narratives that weave together to make Mononoke a satisfying experience. The film represents the last gasp of the old world where nature conquered all, before man's industries poisoned the Earth. Miyazaki re-writes history in hopes we can do the same. Even if the old world and the animal spirit must die, he sees a harmony that can be found between mankind and mother nature. A balance we are desiring more than ever now.
THOU WAST MILD & LOVELY (2014)
dir: Josephine Decker
Josephine Decker was fantastic in Uncle Kent (2011) as well as in the other Joe Swanberg projects she participated. Of her directorial work, I can only say I've been privy to Madeline's Madeline (2018) and now Thou Wast Mild & Lovely. I was instantly impressed with Madeline. All at once, you're swept up into the comforting chaos of an arthouse film. Having Miranda July usher you into the indie madness is always a good start. I'm also excited to see Decker's biopic on Shirley Jackson with Elizabeth Moss. I feel terrible about missing that one. But we're here to talk about Decker's sophomore feature film.
I was in college with Joe Swanberg. We had a few of the same classes, and I assisted on one of his student films. When I moved to Chicago, I attended a couple of his film premieres. And he remembered me. He also asked about my opinion as well as opinions on indie film distribution. This was years ago, and I'm sure the same can't be said now. But, regardless, I am a Joe Swanberg supporter through and through. That's why it pains me to see him in this film.
On paper, the concept is great. Akin (a husband and father) is hired onto a farm for the summer, begins a twisted psycho-sexual relationship with the farmer's daughter. But when the farmer invites Akin's wife to spend the weekend, things take a turn for the worse. It's like taking the beginning of a farmer's daughter joke and twisting it into a horror concept. The issues that work against the film’s effectiveness stem from the direction and the editing. There are frantic camerawork when it is un-needed, cutaways to filler that is an attempt to unsettle the viewer, other cutaways to sped up stars in the sky, and fantasy POVs of masturbation with garden shears. I've read some critics who say these film school techniques are utilized to throw the viewer off balance; however, only well read cinephiles would know that the techniques are akin to student films. The filler throughout the film is unnecessary and weighs down an otherwise great premise. We can understand the unease present below the surface when the characters are attempting to communicate with one another, we don't need a close-up of a half-eaten chicken.
PLEDGE NIGHT (1990)
dir: Paul Ziller
Directorial debut for Paul Ziller who went on to... let's see... Bloodfist IV (1992), an episode of Highlander, Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon (2008), and a TV movie remake of The Philadelphia Experiment (2012). Alright, I was about to give the director some credit, but it appears his first film may have been the best project he's ever been part of. Looking at the cast and crew on Pledge Night and you might assume that the film itself had a curse on it. The actor playing Acid Sid went on to do some TV work. Wendy, the love interest with possibly the most character development, is played by Shannon McMahon who went on to produce G Word and Toddlers & Tiaras (as field producer) and Alaskan Bush People (as supervising producer). But the biggest star of the production was Joey Belladonna the lead singer of Anthrax as Young Sid. That's the other out-of-place cool mention of Pledge Night, Anthrax did the soundtrack.
There's nothing redeeming about this film. The effects aren't great. The kills aren't that inventive. The killer isn't that scary. But the actual hazing of the pledges is significant. There was a point where I was hoping that the pledges were given acid and forced into a nightmare trip. But that's not the case. Instead, it's sequence after sequence of gross out gags to prove loyalty to one another. There's also this game you can play while watching. You don't notice it at first. It takes at least two female deaths for you to see it. But every female that comes up against the killer has her breasts exposed. To the point when even the final girl must bare all. And what kind of world are we living in, if even the final girl - the apex of civilization - gets her shirt ripped off by a nobody killer in a nobody film?
WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (1971)
dir: Mel Stuart
Post Written By: Katie Huhn
How do you go from a political TV movie director to the creator of one of the most iconic musicals ever? Gene Wilder, that's how. We all know how magical Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is. That said, it you haven’t seen this one, don’t sleep on it. It’s so goddamn magical. The colors, MOST of the music (sans "Cheer Up Charlie" of course), Gene Wilder’s dialogue and delivery, and the deliciousness of giving oneself over to desire.
The film is all about desire and the pursuit of it. We have the entire world giving in to their impulses while pursing the coveted Golden Ticket and by proxy a lifetime supply of chocolate. There is also something to be said about the capitalist greed displayed here as well, but I’m not the one who’s going to say it!
Gene Wilder portrays the strange, scary, sardonic inventor and chocolatier with such whimsical precision. Wilder came up with the idea for Wonka’s confusing entrance to the children and audience, in which he limps out of the factory with a cane only to somersault forward moments later into applause from the crowd. He staged this sequence as a hint that we are not to trust this man. And it is this quality of Wilder’s Wonka that keeps us on our toes throughout the film, rocking us back and forth between delight and doom. Is this a children’s film? In 1971, sure!
BLOODY MOON (1981)
dir: Jesús Franco
From a wet concrete saw beheading a fake head that looks like a Mattel Barbie to a facial scar that looks as though you could just pick it off to the most styrofoam looking square bolder to ever fall off a cliff, Bloody Moon has nothing to offer. There is a child getting hit by a car, a twist ending, fornication with a Mickey Mouse mask, lots of female nudity, and two practical effects kills that work.
The film first centers on a disfigured Miguel who stabs a woman to death. He's sent away for five years to a mental institution. When he gets out, he and his sister, return to the boarding school that is run by their mother. Miguel has to overcome the temptation to murder every girl he sees, while his sister is trying to convince her mother to take over the school when she dies. But this becomes plot B as now we follow Angela (Olivia Pascal) a student at the school who keeps seeing girls murdered but no one believes her. Angela becomes our star, and the only thread tying one murder to another. Then there's a twist, and the movie's over. In the end, we have gained nothing from this viewing. But, if you directed 207 films over the course of nearly 60 years, I'm sure you'd have a few throw-away films too.
MAINSTREAM (2021)
dir: Gia Coppola
Would you rather have everything but understand nothing or have nothing but understand everything? This small quip between our three characters becomes the central theme of Coppola's film. I'm a big fan of inverting the hero's journey. A quest of self-discovery that destroys your humanity. You think Joker (2019) or There Will Be Blood (2007), these are juggernauts both in acting and in the act of stealing one's soul (for lack of a better term). Maya Hawke's Frankie and Nat Wolff's Jake do a fine job and serve their purpose, but it's almost unfair that they have the job of balancing out the enigmatic snake charming performance of Andrew Garfield's Link/No One Special. I could even be blindsided by the beauty of Garfield's performance to not even recognize the real work Hawke and Wolff do to make us love and hate Link in perfect balance.
Andrew Garfield's a good actor. We can all agree on that. Whether you enjoyed his Spider-Man or his attempt at counterbalancing Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network (2010), he's a solid performer. Or you're a Garfield completionist and were astounded by his chain-smoking youngblood journalist character Eddie Dunford in Red Riding: The Year Of Our Lord 1974 (2009). I will still challenge you to find a better role then Link that has showcased his talents. I'll wait. Were you thinking of his lethargic detective in Under The Silver Lake (2018)? I'm not knocking these performances. All I'm saying is that he goes from wearing a cockroach costume while helping homeless people to a soulless internet sensation named No One Special on the verge of being canceled. We learn things about Link's past that help us understand why he so easily gives up his humanity; however, as an audience we should never forgive Frankie.
Frankie stumbles upon Link wearing a rat costume and screaming about a lonely piece of art in a mall. She films this event and realizes that his charm is infectious. Link wears costumes, doesn't own a phone, helps the homeless population, and babysits children. He has 'nothing' but understands everything. Frankie continues to push him into internet culture because she has no dreams for her own life. She wants everything. The further she pushes Link, the further he breaks through boundaries he had set for himself. Each line of morality in the sand is swept away by the sensation of fame. There is no doubt here, while Link becomes a monster, Frankie is the real villain. Link is clinically insane, what's your problem, Frankie? Twenties ennui?
SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW (2021)
dir: Darren Lynn Bousman
I have seen a total of three Saw films. Like most horror nerds, I thoroughly enjoyed the first film. But with each sequel, it became more evident the conservative subtext of the Jigsaw killer. What we believed was a therapeutic outlet for working through the collective trauma of 9/11 or witnessing the terrors of Abu Ghraib was actually a thinly veiled attempt at propping up Regan era conservative ethics. That is until Hostel (2005) came along and said yes I am an unapologetic torture-porn film. Hostel says I have no ulterior mission than to show how f*cking depraved humans, especially Americans, are. And for its service, we thank Eli Roth.
I get that people enjoy a good comeuppance, and Saw does this in a wonderful way. People that live through the traps, are truly alive after. The evils they've committed prior to the trap are now cleansed. Jigsaw as messiah leading the morally corrupt to salvation. But what happens when you strip the morality of John Kramer from the film and insert good ole' fashion revenge?
Well, you get 4.25 Saw-esque traps that are actually impossible to live through. Whether you allow your fingers to be pulled from your hand or other automated self-mutilations to occur or not, you will be dead because Neo-Jigsaw wills it. There is a lot to hate about this film. The twists are unnecessary. The 'drama' between other officers and Chris Rock teeters between boring and seriously laughable. But where it matters, this is a solid entry. The gore is great. The use of a 'copycat' killer is interesting. And most of all there is a five minute sequence between long-on-the-force Detective Banks (Rock) and his rookie partner Detective Schenk (Max Minghella) where they discuss the disintegration of marriage between a cop and their spouse. Chris Rock delivers some of his best deadpan comedy while Minghella falls for every verbal trap. This sequence elevates the entire endeavor. It almost makes you forget your watching the 9th film in a series. Almost.
MANDY (2018)
dir: Panos Cosmatos
Hey everybody have you heard the news? Joe Bob’s Last Drive-In Show S03E05 begins with the epic neon drenched carnage film: Mandy. From cenobites to baby penis cult leaders to a journey through hell, Mandy gives a depraved mind all that it could crave.So what do Barry Manilow and a coke-snorting, dirty-acid taking, Nicolas Cage in full Cage-Rage have in common? You guessed it, Mandy. There are a lot of reviews out there for the new Panos Cosmatos film. And, they’re all correct. Read my older review here.
DEAD & BURIED (1981)
dir: Gary Sherman
Hey everybody have you heard the news? Joe Bob’s Last Drive-In Show S03E05 ends the night with the little seen Dead & Buried. A film so dedicated to its own twists that it makes it impossible to review without giving anything away. What a great double feature for CineNiche? We get Grandpa Joe (Jack Albertson) deceiving his entire family for two decades while they struggled to come up with enough money for cabbage water in Willy Wonka (1971) and as a crazy mortician who loves to put dead bodies back together.
This film feels as though you are wandering through a haze. Mostly because the film features more fog than John Carpenter's The Fog (1980). Maybe it's just the seaside town of Potter's Bluff. But something is wrong with everyone who lives there.. with the exception of the local sheriff. The Stan Winston effects are gorgeous. My favorite, along with everyone else, is the hypodermic needle to the eye. Eye trauma is always a sure-fire way to get a squeamish cheer from a horror audience. We all remember that first time watching Hostel (2005) or that splinter that takes forever in Zombie (1979). But what makes this one so impressive is that from the first moment we see the body with bandages in the hospital bed, it was all a mechanical dummy. There was no actor, cutaway, insert prosthetic and plunge the eye. It was a lifelike machine and the consistency shows. Maybe the film is long in the middle and hurries through its ending, but it definitely has a charm that wins you over.
NAKED GIRL MURDERED IN THE PARK (1972)
dir: Alfonso Brescia
A lost Giallo shocker, they said. Uncut and remastered the blu-ray said. Or this: "[the film] has long been available only via heavily censored bootlegs ripped from shoddy VHS sources." But no worries, Full Moon presents the film totally uncut and fully remastered. Sold. Right?
Before you get to a plot that's just a rehashing of Mario Bava's Bay of Blood (1971) without the special effects or laying the groundwork for Friday The 13th II (1981), or the 'uncut' sex scenes that aren't believable or sexy, we must discuss the atrocious sound. It's understandable that an Italian production wouldn't be recording the sound on set. We know all sound was done in post production. Bad dubbing is fine. But why would you choose to record all your audio underwater? Or in a submarine? Or who thought it would be a good idea to use every audio limiter they could get their hands on to reduce hiss? After ten minutes, I was frustrated. There's a prologue set in the 1940s and I thought they were doing something interesting with the sound design. Then we skip to present day 1972 in a carnival and a millionaire has just died in a funhouse. The insurance company wants to investigate prior to paying out the inheritance to the rich guy's family. I know this, not because it's discussed, but because I had to look it up. I was even willing to give the film the benefit of the doubt. Sure, the sound was so bad you couldn't understand what anyone was saying, so I'll just put on the subtitles. A 'totally uncut' and 'fully remastered from the original 35mm camera negative' blu-ray must have... Why are there no subtitles? An Italian production with English dubbing and the worst sound design ever, with no subtitles.
After that debacle, I decided to watch this thing in fast-forward. Don't judge me. Lets see these 'throats being cut, bodies brutalized, and climaxing in an outrageous carnage-filled carnival finale.' All off-screen kills. I'm upset I wasted any time on this. I'm also equally upset that I now have this thing in my collection, where it will stare and taunt me until I sell it.
FAIRYTALES (1978)
dir: Harry Hurwitz
Softcore skin flick from the mind of Charles Band, creator of Full Moon Features. I recently signed up for the year membership to Full Moon streaming. When you sign up for the year, I was given the choice of 10 blu-rays to keep. My go-tos were Sorority Babes At The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988), Cannibal Women In The Avocado Jungle Of Death (1989), Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity (1987), and others you'd see on USA Up All Night. There's that nostalgic shot of dopamine connected to these terrible 1980's exploitation films. The funny thing about these films is that they were known for their gratuitous nudity; however, when I saw them as an adolescent they were on the USA network - therefore all the R-rated bits cut out. So, I'm learning that I misremember every boob I thought I saw as a pre-teen. Moving on...
Fairytales was chosen as part of the 10 Full Moon films because of Linnea Quigley. She's been one of my favorite 'Scream Queens' since Night Of The Demons (1988) and Return of the Living Dead (1985). Recently, in her interview on In Search Of Darkness Part II (2020), Quigley mentioned her first roll in Fairytales. She said she was uncomfortable with the nudity; however, she learned quickly that if she was going to be nude in film she was going to be paid dearly for it. She went on to say that if your the actress that always reveals, it's less of spectacle than someone who tries to stay covered up their entire career. Quigley is very nude, from the first second of her on-screen debut.
Fairytales places Quigley as the Prince's dream woman. The film focuses on a Prince who can't be sexually aroused, but must prove an heir within his first week of being 21, or he'll lose his kingdom. Everyone thinks they can help the prince, but he only has eyes for a woman he saw in a painting. A woman who went missing long ago. Little Bo Peep can't get the Prince's motor running, neither can Snow White or her Seven [Little People], The old woman who lived in a shoe doesn't help with his issue, and even Aunt La Voe (based on Marie Laveau) can't deliver the right 'up' potion. Of course the prince meets Quigley in the last five minutes and lives happily ever after, but is this movie fun? It is. Overall, it's not as sexist as one would think of a 1978 softcore film. There's no male full frontal and that's a shame. If you're going to make a sex comedy there should be enough full frontal for everyone.
THE 50 BEST HORROR MOVIES YOU'VE NEVER SEEN (2014)
dir: Anthony Masi
I'll give it to you, there were 5: Prophecy (1979), Food Of The Gods (1976), Lemore: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural (1973), Brides of Dracula (1960), and Alone With Her (2006). Again, I have to preface this with: Do you like clipshows? Do you like people talking about horror movies? If yes, you will enjoy this.
While I liked the countdown and P.J. Soles as the narrator, what I appreciate most is Mr. Horror Movie A Day himself, Brian Collins talking horror. If you do not know about Horror Movie A Day, then you are missing out. This is partially from Amazon but it explains the beauty and devotion of a horror film critic better than I can: For six years, Brian Collins watched and reviewed a different horror movie every single day. His site boasts over 2,500 reviews. He meticulously picked from his reviews to come up with a 365 entry book to truly give you a horror movie a day.
Other amazing interviewees include: Ryan Turek and Robert Galluzzo of Shock Waves, Linnea Quigley, Brad Miska co-founder and editor-in-chief of Bloody-Disgusting, and the always entertaining Mike Mendez.
HIGH: Several fit the bill for best screening this week. The highest honor should go to Spiral because we got to see it in a theater. But not even an ordinary theater, we went to Regal's Webster Theater here in Chicago, and they have outdone themselves. The seats are all electric recliners. This might be old hat for some of you, but this was a new experience in comfort cinema. Seeing Mandy with the Joe Bob crowd on Twitter was fantastic. Mainstream was way better than I was expecting. But the winner this week goes to a movie that I hate myself for not watching as much as possible.
HIGH: MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
LOW: Here are the contenders: Thou Wast Mild & Lovely, Bloody Moon, Pledge Night, Hitcher in the Dark, and Naked Girl Murdered In The Park. I would never railroad an independent filmmaker with a vision. Even if I wasn't receptive to said vision, Thou Wast deserves more credit than being my worst experience of the week. I had a three-way tie between Bloody Moon, Pledge Night, and Hitcher In The Dark so I'm glad Naked Girl came along to show me what a truly horrible viewing experience can be.
LOW: NAKED GIRL MURDERED IN THE PARK
TV CORNER:
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