This Week In Film (2/22/21 - 2/28/21)

 February 22, 2021 - February 28, 2021

As this is a new editorial section, one would normally begin it with welcoming the reader to a new endeavor; however, if I stated that, then I would feel the pressure of continuing this. Right now is not the time to feel additional pressure from anywhere. For clarity to my future self while reading this: We are still in the middle of a pandemic and nothing feels like it will ever return to normal! Hopefully, when I read this in the future, I'll think back to how that time in my life was filled with such deep depression, but ultimately it helped to lead me toward more creative times. But that's not what I came here to tell you about...

This Week In Film where I create a weekly rundown of the random sh*t I watch. There’s a HIGH / LOW at the end of this entry, so if words aren't really your thing, you can scroll quickly, look at pictures, and skip to my favorite viewings of the week.

Lets begin...

OVERVIEW:

  

******

NOMADLAND (2020)

dir: Chloé Zhao

I will immediately admit, I have nothing to add to the robust conversation around this film. Chloe Zhao's film is beautiful, Francis McDormand's performance is perfection, and each interaction caught on film is a revelation. I've seen some perplexed as to how someone could live the nomadic lifestyle. And while some of it has to do with a situation someone may be forced into, I'm in love with the romantic aspect of freedom and living only for the moment. I'm sure McDormand will go on to win another Oscar, and I'm really hopeful for a directing Oscar for Zhao. And from her lo-fi work in The Rider (2017) and here in Nomadland, I'm really excited to see how she creates the world of Marvel's The Eternals (2021).

 

WHAT SHE SAID: THE ART OF PAULINE KAEL (2018)

dir: Rob Garver

I have loved Pauline Kael since film school, but I had no idea how much of a sh*t-stirrer she was. I enjoyed the perspective offered by the documentary showing she had as much to do with the American Maverick movement of the early 1970's as Scorcese, Hopper, De Palma, Spielberg, Lucas, Bogdanovich, and Coppola. Recently, if you've watched Charlie Kaufman's adaptation of I'm Thinking Of Ending Things (2020), Jessie Buckley's character launches into a several minutes monologue where she impersonates Kael and recites her 1974 take-down of John Cassavetes' A Woman Under The Influence (1974). It is an impressive impersonation of Pauline Kael on film. While random, it also seems perfectly in place as she shreds the patriarchy and misogyny through the art of criticism. I have the feeling that it was watching her talk about her conversational style that gave me this idea to attempt a weekly roundup.

PUMP UP THE VOLUME (1990)

dir: Alan Moyle

I don't know if you're familiar with Ready Player One or Ready Player Two, but Ernest Cline's novels include a game called Flicksync. The object of the game is to act out a film perfectly to win. In the books, Parzival has to beat WarGames (1983), Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), and Princess Bride (1987). When reading both books, I kept wondering what would my perfect score Flicksync be? This is it, Pump Up The Volume. This VHS I watched more than any other growing up. As I was a sick child, I stayed home a lot. This was one of my favorite comfort films. This is the REAL teenage suicide don't do it, Christian Slater film. This film gave me Leonard Cohen, gave me Lenny Bruce, and burned into my brain the sexy line.. "songs I've never heard, but I move anyway." Happy Harry Hardon defined my youth, he was the anti-suicide message that I took to heart. The blu-ray finally came out, so my wife got if for our anniversary. Happy twelve years Katie! She included a note on red paper: "I say do it. I don't care what, just do it. Jam me, jack me, push me, pull me, talk hard." 

PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC'S REVENGE (1989)

dir: Richard Friedman

From the director of two episodes of Friday the 13th: The Series, four episodes of Tales from the Darkside, and Doom Asylum comes a snooze-fest variation of Phantom of the Opera. I've seen this before, and I don't know why I subjected myself to this for a background film. There is early Pauly Shore who isn't full on Pauly Shore yet, so that's nice. Honestly, I fell asleep. The kill scenes feel cheap or neutered. There is no mystery, music, or legendary mask reveal. Morgan Fairchild plays the mayor who's hopeful for the new mall; however, this film's stance is anti-mall culture. I don't think I'll make the mistake of a third viewing. Instead, I'll stick with the wonderful Robert England gorefest of Phantom of the Opera made in the same year as Eric's Revenge.

 

THE FUNHOUSE (1981)

dir: Tobe Hooper

The Funhouse is a solid Tobe Hooper film. The effects are great, and it feels like the 80's as a perfect little time capsule. Elizabeth Berridge of Amadeus (1984) and Smooth Talk (1985) fame is an interesting "Final Girl." If we view this within the slasher canon, Amy Harper (Berridge) doesn't fit many of the tropes. She does not have a unisex name, which Carol J. Clover (creator of the term final girl) states is a choice used so that males will not feel as threatened by living vicariously through a female since their name isn't seen as strictly female or male. Unisex name examples include Stretch, Avery, Chris, and Sidney. Funhouse's final girl partakes in illegal substances, pot, but so does Laurie Strode in Halloween (1978). Where we see a direct violation of the final girl rules is when Amy is shown nude at the beginning of the film, and then again later we see her rounding past second base. The so-called chastity clause in slasher films is broken here early in the cycle. The teens in The Funhouse break all the rules. They hide in the funhouse after it closes to make-out and more. They spy on a worker who wears a Frankenstein mask while he pays the carnival gypsy for sex. The teens watch as the guy prematurely finishes and then kills the gypsy. Finally they steal the fair's money and drop a lighter to let everyone know they've been there. To say the teens deserve to be stalked by the red-eyed deformed son of the carnival owner is an understatement. But you almost feel bad for the monster when he's killed by auto-erotic asphyxiation electrocution. Bonus, it's always great to see Phantom of the Paradise's William Finley, and he doesn't disappoint as the apathetic Marco The Magnificent.

 

CURTAINS (1983)

dir: Richard Ciupka (as Jonathan Stryker) 

 Okay, maybe I don't pay close attention every time I watch this film, but it pays off because I'm always surprised by the ending. One thing you can say and not give anything away is that for a film about six actresses picked to spend the weekend auditioning for a big roll at the home of an eccentric director, the acting is great. For a slasher film or not, the acting is top notch. The mask the killer wears is terrifying, and the ice kill is a showstopper. I'm sure I could dive into a theory that the mask of a hideous aged woman works to reflect the fear that each of these actresses have of growing old, but that's for a review I'll probably never write since I can't remember specific details of this film. If I did want to write about Curtains, I'd probably start off with the strange fact that the director used a nom de plume of the director's name in the film. But regardless, if nothing else stays with you after seeing Curtains, that damn song will stick with you. It's an ear worm: Burton Cummings, "Save My Soul."

SUMMER OF '84 (2018)

dir: (RKSS) Francois Simard, Anouk Whissell, & Yoann-Karl Whissell

This film is better every time you watch it. I mean I was blown away the first time, and it only gets better with subsequent viewings. As Summer of 84 always shows up on the Shudder channel rotation, I've seen this film more than I can admit with certainty. SPOILER TERRITORY......

Well not exactly spoiler, but this film is built to make you believe a killer lives next door. From the onset, this is your belief as a viewer. Then the film starts to systematically dismantle that belief. More and more, we begin to believe it's a red herring. And just like the protagonist's friends and parents, we don't believe him. But then... Holy Sh*t! And there is no harder left turn in recent horror cinema than Act 3. That Stranger Things retro vibe we've been grooving with falls away to a disturbing critique on trauma.

"You do not get to be sorry. All I wanna do is kill you. That's not enough for you. You have spent so much time thinking about me. I want you to keep thinking about me. I want you to imagine what I am going to do when I come back for you. And I am going to come back for you. After you have spent your life looking over your shoulder. After you have wondered every single day if that is the day that I'm gonna come for you. One day... you'll be right."

 

UNMASKED PART 25 (1988)

dir: Anders Palm

Where have you been? You know that feeling when you watch something from the past and you get so mad at yourself for not having that piece of art in your life for longer. Yeah, that's the feeling. I mean, why would I watch something called Unmasked Part 25? I'm smart enough to know that there isn't (checking my notes) 24 other parts of this series. The concept is genius, especially for when it was made. This films predates Leslie Vernon of Behind the Mask (2006). You are the Friday The 13th sequel we've all needed. You were made the same year as Friday the 13th VII: A New Blood (1988), and you could have come in the place of Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) or even better you could have been in the place of Jason Goes To Hell (1993). So for those not in the know as I have been for too many years, we follow serial killer Jackson who wears a hockey goalie mask and kills promiscuous teens. We think, knockoff Jason, until he tells his backstory. Jackson went to America, was thought to have drowned at a summer camp, his mother was killed, and he lived off the land. He killed councilors and read the books they left behind. When it got to be too much for him he moved. I don't want to give away too much, but just be excited. The gore is great, but the execution of each kill leaves something to be desired. It really doesn't matter since the concept is everything. Think about that Michael Myers YouTube video where he learns to drive, but make it a feature with Jason who is having an existential crisis and you come close.

 

CRUEL JAWS (1995)

dir: Bruno Mattei

Welcome to close-talking 101. Your first lesson. When you think you're speaking your lines too close to another actor, take one step closer and scream in their face. That's right, when you're in doubt about which emotion you are supposed to convey, choose anger. Anger will work every time. Now that we've covered all there is to know about acting, lets move on to special effects. Wanna make a sharksploitation film, but don't have the budget to build a shark? No worries. All you have to do is make your film outside of international copyright jurisdiction and use what has worked in the past. May I suggest cutting scenes from Jaws (1975), Jaws 2 (1978), Jaws 3-D (1983), Deep Blood (1990), and The Last Shark (1981). You may begin to wonder, what if people begin to see a difference in the size and quality of the various sharks we use? Remember, your audience is stupid. You can even show a dolphin as a shark. But make sure to also show dolphins and seals, kids love them. You know how they always say never use animals or kids in your film? That's a sure-fire way to lose half your audience. Studies show animals and kids love to watch movies. You can really pull the heart-strings if your kid actor fakes the need for a wheelchair. Since you're making a SHARK movie, make sure you have a character that knows about sharks. Maybe they can convey their knowledge by stating they are locomotives with mouths full of butcher's knives. Or maybe your shark expert can teach others about the two ways to get rid of them: "kill them or starve them..." Which starving them would kill them too, so there's really only one way to get rid of them. Let your shark expert know.

"I want you to find the tallest skyscraper you can and throw yourself off and then go f*ck yourself!" 

Speaking of characters. Make sure your dialogue is clear and concise. Don't make the rookie mistake of naming one of your Hulk Hogan look-alike character's Dag, because certain accents may enunciate this as Dad, and now you've confused your entire backstory. Exchanges like the following can really draw teens to your film. One of your disposable douchebag characters can say to any female in a bikini: "I'm the person in charge of p*ssy." And a perfect tete-a-tete retort can be ganging up on the douche character and call him, "Dick Brain!" Make sure later that said female in bikini is attracted to him to create the earlier irony. At a moment of deep understanding make sure you insert this golden goose: "I feel so ridiculous, when you see and feel certain things, you suddenly realize how futile the things you strive for are." The actor or actress can only do this line in the first take, you can't ruin the moment. Above all you'll need to include a line that replicates the perfection achieved in Jaws (1975), something that will allow your audience to cheer because they remember something from their past. My idea would be: "We're gonna need a bigger... Helicopter!" It's perfect. You don't have to use it, but audiences and critics will agree this line will make or break your film. And that's it. I think you're ready. If you need any help with the plot, just take everything you need from Jaws. If you need music, just take the Star Wars theme and maybe something from Raiders of the Lost Arc, people really like those scores. Bottom line just have fun with it. Even if it turns out to be a total piece-of-sh*t, you'll find a cult audience one day.

TOM & JERRY (2021)

dir: Tim Story

Mindless fun. Chloë Grace Moretz as Kayla is great, especially when she has to act opposite some pretty hammy cartoons. And we all know those hand-drawn cartoons steal the show. Super dark take: but what if someone released this film without the animation and inserted musical cues from Fatal Attraction? The result would be pure madness. But, I’ll admit it was cute to see figures from my childhood interacting on-screen again. Nostalgia’s a hell of a drug. Colin Jost was a treat but the best character by far was Joy the Bell Girl (Patsy Ferran). Joy pops up everywhere and is always slightly off. 

Joy: What about the garden across the street?
Ben: I'm sorry, the garden?
Kayla: Do you mean central park?
Joy: Sure whatever nickname you have for it.

I’ve just realized I haven’t discussed the plot at all... no one is watching this for a plot. If they were, they would realize that Kayla and Jerry steal from others to better themselves, and in doing so drive other characters into corrupting themselves. Tom descends into insanity because Jerry has taken his ability to create and Terence (Michael Peña) is pushed toward terrorism by Kayla's ineptitude. It all works out in the end through the message of teamwork built into the film's third act. The thieves get to keep what they've taken and the corrupted come back to morality, but everyone has learned... whatever.

SOUTHLAND TALES (2006)

dir: Richard Kelly

This film has it all. If you're looking for a film about neo-Marxist cults, wi-fi electricity, Justin Timberlake (Pilot Abilene) doing a lipsync video for The Killers "All These Things That I've Done," an interpretive Ménage à trois dance featuring Dwayne Johnson, Mandy Moore, and Sarah Michelle Gellar, and discussions about thermonuclear baby farts then you are in luck. I championed this film when it came out originally, but I was never fully on board. I knew it was special, but didn't know how special at the time. Richard Kelly's original script for this film was a Robert Altman inspired political satire in the vein of Nashville (1975) and Tanner '88 (1988). Then two things happened, September 11, 2001 and the cult rise of Donnie Darko (2001). Kelly then began to add satire of the Patriot Act as well as sci-fi elements from Back To The Future (1985) to bulk up his already ambitious project. The gamble, as we all know, did not pay off. Even with every star in the sky, Richard Kelly's quantum physics version of Short Cuts (1993) failed to attract audiences to the theaters and was ripped apart at Cannes. 

I don't know if it is the fact that I was able to see the Cannes Cut or that the film just ages really well, but I loved everything about this weird trip. Dwayne Johnson gets some great dialogue such as, "So, I'm my future self?" And he inserts nervous tics and carries the logic of a silent film comedian. We get a psychopathic Jon Lovitz and a fantastic Sean Willaim Scott. Zelda Rubinstein gets to make her creepy prophecies. An unaccredited Eli Roth gets shot in a bathroom. There's a random soap opera scene thrown into the middle of the film that's to die for. I'm just saying, Southland Tales, was ahead of its time and maybe ahead of any time. I'll leave you with one of my favorite moments: Sean William Scott and Lou Taylor Pucci have decided to withdraw all their money from the bank to flee the country. When the ATM refuses Pucci's card, a drug-addled Scott utters a transcendent line of dialogue in full seriousness, "We're going to take the ATM with us to Mexico." And yes, they tie up the ATM and drive off with it. It is this decision that leads to the apocalypse... and it is absurd and it is beautiful.

******

 

Best viewing of the week is a two-way tie. I hate it when people do that. I can't promise it won't happen again, but believe me I feel ashamed of myself. Still...

NOMADLAND & UNMASKED PART 25

Worst viewing of the week. This means whatever is chosen has to be worse than Cruel Jaws and that is saying something. My pick is hands-down:

PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC'S REVENGE

TV CORNER: